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Is Being Neurodivergent Traumatic?

In the world of mental health, trauma and neurodivergence often intertwine in complex and fascinating ways.  

Is being neurodivergent traumatic?

 I am writing this knowing that each individual has their own experience with this and the answer might be “yes, no, and sometimes”.

As a trauma therapist specializing in somatic therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), and PTSD treatment here in San Diego, I’ve noticed a recurring theme among my clients:

many symptoms of trauma closely resemble traits of ADHD or other forms of neurodivergence.  

Sometimes clients get diagnosed with ADHD when it is really PTSD.

Let’s dive into these connections and explore how understanding them can pave the way for healing.

How Trauma and Neurodivergence Overlap

Trauma’s impact on the brain can manifest in ways that mimic or overlap with neurodivergence. For instance:

Difficulty Concentrating: This hallmark trait of ADHD is also a common symptom of trauma. Hypervigilance, a survival mechanism born from trauma, makes it hard to focus on tasks as the brain is constantly scanning for potential threats.

Attachment Trauma and Brain Development: Early attachment trauma can affect the development of key brain regions. This may lead to challenges like reading difficulties or struggles with executive functioning.

Social Challenges: Both neurodivergent individuals and those with trauma histories often report difficulty connecting with others. Misinterpreted cues and anxiety around social interactions can create feelings of isolation.

Navigating a Neurotypical World

For neurodivergent individuals, the world often feels tailored for neurotypical norms, creating a constant sense of friction.

I frequently hear clients express frustration, saying, “I am so tired of trying to be who they want me to be.”

This statement captures the exhaustion of masking—the effort to suppress natural behaviors to conform to societal expectations.

Some common struggles include:

Fear of Missing Cues: Anxiety about getting things “right” in social or professional settings can be overwhelming.

Self-Hatred: Many clients express feelings of shame or inadequacy for being “wired differently.”

This self-criticism is often compounded by years of misunderstanding and marginalization.  

This is where I believe being neurodivergent can feel traumatic.

My Personal Insights into Feeling Different

While I cannot fully understand what it’s like to be neurodivergent, I empathize deeply with those who feel misunderstood.

My own experiences of exclusion due to gender and age,

as well as living in foreign countries where I struggled to grasp the language and customs,

have given me a glimpse into this world.

I’ve felt the weight of being an outsider and the frustration of not meeting others’ expectations.

Tools for Healing: Brainspotting and Neurofeedback

Hope is not just a concept—it’s a practice.

Through my work as a somatic trauma therapist, I’ve found Brainspotting and neurofeedback to be transformative tools for healing.

Let’s explore how these approaches work:

Brainspotting: This technique helps clients access and process deeply stored trauma by focusing on specific eye positions.

 

It’s especially effective for uncovering and healing the root causes of anxiety and emotional pain.

 

Neurofeedback: By retraining brainwave activity, neurofeedback helps clients regulate their nervous systems, improving focus, emotional balance, and overall resilience.

Celebrating Neurodivergence

One of the greatest joys of my work is witnessing the unique strengths and perspectives of neurodivergent individuals.

Their creativity, problem-solving skills, and fresh ways of seeing the world are truly inspiring.

My role is not just to help them heal but also to help them recognize their incredible worth.

To anyone reading this who feels exhausted and misunderstood, I want you to know that you are not broken; you are human—beautifully, uniquely human.

A Special Shoutout to the ADHD Whisperer

I’d like to take a moment to recognize Gina Arellano in Los Angeles, a therapist who specializes in ADHD.

Known as the “ADHD Whisperer,” Gina has helped countless individuals navigate their unique journeys.

While her waiting list is long, she’s worth the wait if you’re looking for someone who truly understands the ADHD experience.

Seeking Support in San Diego

If you’re in San Diego and looking for support, I’m here to help.

Whether through somatic trauma therapy, EMDR, Brainspotting, or neurofeedback,

my goal is to create a safe space where you can explore, heal, and grow.

Together, we can work toward a life where you feel more connected, confident, and at peace.

How I Can Help with Trauma and Neurodivergence

Trauma and neurodivergence may present unique challenges, but they also bring opportunities for profound growth and self-discovery.

By understanding the interplay between these experiences, we can develop tailored approaches to healing that honor the whole person—mind, body, and spirit.

If you’re ready to begin your journey toward healing, reach out today. Let’s work together to unlock your potential and create a life where you thrive.

Contact Shay DuBois at Overcome Anxiety & Trauma in San Diego
Email Shay@overcomeanxietytrauma.com to book a session and learn more about how somatic trauma therapy, EMDR, brainspotting, and neurofeedback can help you reclaim your life.