You Tried to Talk About It, It Didn’t Work.
If you feel broken, you’re not the only one. Feeling that way after sexual trauma is common, and it doesn’t mean you are.
You tried talking but heard “you have it better than I did,” “get over it,” or weren’t believed. You got the message no one was there for you.
You’re ashamed. “Was it my fault?” It’s a common effect of trauma to believe you can’t tell anyone — they’ll act different, and you can’t stand that. No one knows the real you.
Your Body Is Tired of Keeping Score.
You push it down, but it’s exhausting — this is what it feels like when your body never gets to relax.
The only escape is to numb out: binging TV, scrolling your phone, shopping, drinking…
When you aren’t numb, you’re anxious, angry, and doubting yourself, switching between being on edge and shutting down, which makes it hard to feel safe in your own body.
You Want Relief.
You are afraid of what might come up if you start to talk, and you know something has to change.
You are always on guard and unable to trust others.
You deserve a place where you can finally set some of it down, at your own pace.
If other therapy hasn’t felt like enough, it doesn’t mean you failed.
Feeling Safe in Your Body
You Are Not Alone in Your Journey
If you’re reading this, you’ve already taken a courageous step. Whether you experienced sexual abuse as a child or sexual assault as an adult, sexual trauma can leave deep wounds that affect every part of your life: relationships, sense of self, how you feel in your body, and your ability to trust. After sexual trauma, your body can feel unsafe, like a place that is really hard to live in, and one you can’t get away from. It makes sense you would feel this way, and it makes sense that you want to try to feel different. I know your body has been through a lot. You decide what feels safe.
As a therapist who specializes in somatic trauma therapy in San Diego, I offer sexual trauma therapy in a space where you can reconnect with your body at your own pace. You never have to share more than you’re ready to, and you won’t be alone.
Understanding Sexual Trauma
Understanding the Impact
Sexual trauma doesn't end when the abuse or assault does. Whether it happened in childhood or adulthood, its effects can ripple through your entire life.
Can therapy help?
It can be one part of support. We'd talk about whether it's a fit in a free consult.
Therapy Models:
Internal Family Systems, Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy, Brainspotting, Neurofeedback, Compassionate Inquiry, EMDR
Related Conditions:
PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Attachment Trauma, Trauma and Food, Phobias
Signs & Symptoms of Sexual Trauma
Difficulty trusting others or forming close bonds
Feeling unsafe, numb, or triggered during physical or sexual intimacy
Shame, guilt, and self-blame
Dissociation or feeling disconnected from your body
Flashbacks, intrusive memories, or feeling constantly on edge
Nightmares or difficulty sleeping
Recommended Treatment Models for Sexual Trauma
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
If you’ve ever seen Inside Out, you may have an idea of how Internal Family Systems (IFS) works. IFS recognizes that we all have different “parts.” After sexual trauma, some parts carry the pain, shame, or fear, while others work hard to protect you from it. Rather than pushing any part away, IFS helps you understand and care for each one, at your pace.
Brainspotting
After sexual trauma, the body can start to feel like a crime scene, a place that holds danger rather than safety. Brainspotting uses points in your field of vision, called “brainspots,” to work with trauma held in the brain and body. Because it doesn’t depend on talking through every detail, it can be a gentler option for survivors who find it hard to put their experience into words.
Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy
For survivors of sexual trauma, psychedelic assisted psychotherapy is one option for reconnecting with the body, with preparation and support. It isn’t right for everyone, and we’d talk through whether it fits for you first.
What to Expect
What Working Together Can Look Like
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Step One
Your first step in sexual trauma therapy is a short, one-on-one consultation with me. This gives us a chance to get to know each other, and gives you a sense of whether I’m the right fit for you, with no pressure to share more than you’re comfortable with. From there, I can recommend the therapy approach that best fits your needs.
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Step Two
Based on your unique needs, I’ll walk you through the treatment options I believe will help you most, so you can make an informed choice about your care. We can also combine multiple approaches, tailoring treatment to your needs.
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Step Three
Healing takes the time it takes. Some clients work with me for a few months, others for a few years. Whatever the duration, we’ll move at a pace that feels safe for you, and you’ll always be in control of what we explore. My commitment is to work with care and lead with compassion, and to keep what we talk about confidential within the limits of the law.
Meet Shay
Hi, I’m Shay 👋 I work with the mind, body, and brain, bringing a variety of skills that allow you to work with trauma in the way you need. Whether it is EMDR, Brainspotting, Compassionate Inquiry, Somatic therapy, Neurofeedback, IFS, Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy or other trauma-informed practices, we’ll go at a pace that feels manageable to you. For survivors, sexual trauma therapy with me means healing at your own pace, in a space where your body and your boundaries are always respected.
What change feels like is different for each person. It might be more presence in your body, feeling less on guard, or being kinder to yourself. We’ll check in on what it looks like for you. Over time, the shame and fear you’ve been carrying can begin to soften. What happened to you is part of your story, but it doesn’t have to define your future. Together, we’ll work at your pace toward feeling safer in your body and in your life.
Frequently Asked Questions
- Why Choose Me?
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Your body is keeping the score of what happened to you, but I can support you as you work with the past and with being present in your body.
✓ Body-Centered Approach: Move beyond talk therapy with somatic approaches that work with trauma in the body.
✓ Safe & Non-Judgmental: You set the pace. No forced reliving, just compassionate, trauma-informed care.
✓ San Diego-Based Support: Telehealth in San Diego and all across California.
✓ Trauma-Focused Training: I specialize in trauma therapy and have completed years of additional training in somatic and trauma-focused approaches. - How I Think About Trauma
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My approach draws on my training in trauma and the body. I understand that:
- Your brain adapted to survive: The symptoms you experience were once protective mechanisms.
- Safety comes first: Finding a safe therapeutic relationship can help your body learn that the danger is over now.
- Your body holds wisdom: I believe the mind and body both belong in the process.
- You are the expert on your experience: Therapy is collaborative, honoring your pace and choices.
- Our Specialized Approach
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Approaches I may use, depending on what fits you:
- Neurofeedback: Uses audio and visual feedback to train your brain.
- Somatic Experiencing: Works with how trauma is held in the body.
- Brainspotting: Uses your field of vision to work with trauma held in the brain and body.
- Internal Family Systems (IFS): Helps you understand and care for different parts of yourself with compassion.
- EMDR: A structured approach to working with traumatic memories.
- Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy: One option for reconnecting with the body, with preparation and support.
- Will I Have to Talk About What Happened?
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You control what you share and when. Healing doesn’t require recounting every detail. We’ll work at your pace and focus on what feels manageable.
- What If I Can't Remember Everything That Happened?
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Memory gaps are common after sexual trauma, whether it happened in childhood or adulthood. We can work with whatever shows up in session, whether it is a body sensation, part of a memory, or just a feeling about a person. We don’t create false memories; we simply work with whatever is showing up for you.
- I'm worried about being judged or not believed.
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Your experience is valid, regardless of the circumstances: whether it happened in childhood or adulthood, whether you knew the person, whether you froze, or whether you never told anyone. My role is to support you, not to judge or question your truth.
Find Your Way Back to Yourself
If you’re carrying the weight of sexual trauma, you deserve compassionate support from someone who understands. Book your free 15-minute consultation with me today.