How to Stop the Fawn Trauma Response

Understanding and Overcoming the Fawn Trauma Response

The fawn trauma response is a survival behavior. It aims to avoid conflict and ensure safety, often through people-pleasing and self-neglect.

In childhood, fawning proved useful in threatening situations, times of difficulty, and when survival options were limited. But in adulthood, it can cause low self-esteem, poor relationships, and burnout.

This blog will help you stop the fawn trauma response and lead to a more peaceful, fulfilling life.

Healing is Possible!

Increase Self-Awareness

Action: Notice when you engage in people-pleasing behaviors. Note what triggers the fawn trauma response. Also, notice how you feel when you try to please others.

Strategies:

• Journaling: Keep a journal to track instances when you fawn. Note the perceived danger, how you reacted, and how you felt.
• Mindfulness: Stay present and aware of your thoughts, feelings, and body.

Benefit: Self-awareness is the first step to change. It helps you understand your triggers and relational patterns, making it easier to understand past experiences and address them.

Set Healthy and Clear Boundaries

Action: Set and keep healthy boundaries. This protects your time, energy, and well-being.

Strategies to Overcome the Fawn Trauma Response:

• Start small: Begin with small boundaries, such as saying no to minor requests.
• Be clear and firm: State your boundaries and stick to them, even if it feels uncomfortable.
• Use “I” statements: They assert your basic needs without being confrontational.

Benefit: Setting boundaries helps you prioritize your needs. It reduces the chance of fawning behavior.

Prioritize Self-Care

Action: Make self-care a daily habit to recharge and stay well. Book this into your daily calendar and keep this appointment.

Strategies:

• Physical Self-Care: Engage in activities like exercise, healthy eating, and adequate sleep.
• Emotional Self-Care: Do things that bring you joy and relaxation. Enjoy hobbies and time with loved ones.
• Mental Self-Care: Use mindfulness or meditation to reduce stress and improve focus.

Benefit: Self-care reinforces your worth and helps you stay balanced and resilient.

Build Assertiveness Skills

Action: Speak up to convey your needs and opinions with respectful clarity.

Strategies:

• Role-Playing: Practice assertive communication in low-stakes situations with your therapist or with a trusted friend.
• Use Assertive Language: Be direct and clear about your needs and feelings. You can do this without being aggressive.
• Seek Feedback: Ask trusted friends or a therapist for feedback on your assertiveness.

Benefit: Being assertive helps you stand up for yourself. It ensures that your needs are met and reduces people-pleasing.

Seek Professional Help for the Fawn Trauma Response

Consider therapy. It can help with the fawn trauma response and build better coping skills.

Strategies:

• Somatic Therapy: Focuses on the mind-body connection to help you process and release trauma that fuels your fawn response.
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Effective for processing traumatic memories that may be driving the fawn response.
• Brainspotting: Uses specific points to access and release stored trauma in your body.
• Compassionate Inquiry: Created by Gabor Maté and Sat Dharam Kaur, this method gently guides clients to their internal experiences to find their truths.
• Internal Family Systems (IFS): Work with your therapist to explore your parts and find the root of your fawn trauma response.

Benefit: Therapy provides support and tools to help you escape the fawn response.

Reconnect with Your True Self

Action: Explore your interests, values, and desires. Reconnect with your true self.

Strategies:

• Self-Reflection: Reflect on what makes you happy, fulfilled, and energized.
• Try New Activities: Experiment with new hobbies or activities to discover what you enjoy.
• Spend Time Alone: Take time alone to think and reflect. Understand your needs and desires.

Benefit: Reconnecting with your true self helps you live authentically. It reduces the need to seek validation through people-pleasing.

Practice Self-Compassion

Action: Be kind to yourself as you work on changing the fawn trauma response. Understand that it takes time and effort. Trauma causes fawning.

Strategies:

• Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative self-talk with encouraging and compassionate thoughts.
• Forgive Yourself: It’s normal to fall back into old patterns while learning. Forgive yourself for any setbacks.
• Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate your efforts, no matter how small.

Benefit: Self-compassion boosts your motivation and reduces guilt and shame. These feelings often come with trying to change deep-rooted behaviors like the fawn trauma response.

Call to Action

If you identify with the fawn trauma response and want to stop the fawning reaction, consider working with Shay. Book a session at www.overcomeanxietytrauma.com. Start your journey to a more authentic, fulfilling life.

Shay can help you to:

• Understand your patterns.
• Set boundaries.
• Prioritize your needs.

This will lead to healthier relationships and better well-being.